Vent
by Sinnii
Summary: Vent fics. Oneshots. Some will be happy, some will be short, some may be long... most of them will likely be sad. Oh, and don't forget the slash.
1. Happy Ending

Here's where my vent fics will be going. Well... vent fics, outtakes, and just anything I wanna write that may not fit into anything else.

I don't normally even consider submitting things like this, and here's why: I am highly emotional, and I have a hard time managing those emotions. So I do so the best way I know how. I tend to take whatever feeling I have and apply it to a character. Canon characters are especially fun because I can also consider how that character would act should they be feeling the same feeling as I am. However... characters might be OOC, the fics are not planned out (usually), and...well these are mostly the result of me getting feelings out, so they won't be anything like my current fics.

Most of these will be using Sephiroth... later, once fics like Ruin are done, I will be using other characters. Though most of these will be in the Ruin universe... I love screwing around with said universe... I have hundreds of pages of RPs to prove it. So who knows what sort of things you'll see in here. Just a warning... a lot of it will be sad, or angry, or even a bit of both.

Oh, and there may be typos. I do these without a beta. If you see any typos, just let me know, and I'll fix them.

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><p>1. Happy Ending<p>

Seph/Zack

To say his understanding of interpersonal relationships was minimal would have been the greatest understatement conceived. He had years growing up in a lab, surrounded by people highly out of touch with their fellow human beings to thank for his ineptitude. However, Sephiroth possessed enough common sense and just enough understanding of human behavior to know when things were not right between Zack and himself.

It started off as occasional moments of tension—Sephiroth would come to learn later that he was much easier to read than he thought, and Zack had a very keen sense of when someone was bothered, troubled, or otherwise distressed. Sometimes he would lapse into complete silence, which seemed to trouble his new lover. Sephiroth, however, would never offer up any reasons for his silence and would do his best to move the focus off of himself, Zack seeming to notice and allowing the change in subject.

Worse still, there were days he would completely withdraw into himself and, acknowledging nothing around him... not even the younger First whom sat right next to him, stroking his hair in the hopes of getting him to respond.

Lately though, things were becoming increasingly tense between them. Conversations would devolve into cyclical arguments, Zack expressing concern for his older lover while Sephiroth dismissed him, offering no real explanations or words to ease his worries. Sephiroth merely insisted that any problems he had were no cause for concern, unimportant, to which Zack would adamantly disagree. The arguments would start here...

They usually stopped peacefully, one—usually Zack—quietly conceding and attempting to ease whatever tension had built between them. But Zack's persistence began to put a strain on Sephiroth's nerves, the silver-haired man not at all used to the treatment, while his refusal to open up put an equal strain on Zack as well. Eventually, it became easy for one or the other to snap, the arguments devolving further and ending with one—again, usually Zack—leaving and coming back once both had chance to cool down.

Still, nothing went solved, new problems piling on top of old ones, problems between them piling on top of personal ones, making everything spiral down into one big emotional mess.

Eventually, both reached a breaking point, an initial expression of concern becoming both of them yelling obscenities and name-calling, ending when Sephiroth said something, Zack flinching before leaving in silence.

Sephiroth had not realized just how serious the situation was until the next day when Zack didn't even show up at the office to greet him.

0o0

One day became two. Two days became three.

Work became difficult, Sephiroth distracted with confusion and, dare he say, worry pooling in his gut. Even fights that ended with Zack leaving his apartment seemed forgotten the next day, the young First returning to him, all smiles and affection. Sephiroth would apologize, things would appear to be fixed, and their relationship went on... until the next fight.

This time though, it was clear that he'd done something wrong, something to upset Zack enough that he did not desire to be in Sephiroth's presence. Had he somehow hurt the younger man? Had he angered him? Whatever work he'd intended to do that day was forgotten as he began to go over their last verbal altercation, attempting to find the problem so that he could devise a solution.

All he could deduce however, was that he'd obviously done something... and he needed to apologize, so he got out his PHS, and sent Zack a mail, asking that he come to the office. Perhaps he should have called the other First... but he was very much averse to speaking on the phone, and Zack always seemed to understand.

He got no answer.

0o0

Sephiroth made many more attempts at contacting Zack over the next few days, each one being receiving no answer and leaving Sephiroth with a sense of dread that settled heavy in the pit of his stomach. All the while, he continued to dwell on their argument and tried to reason why Zack would suddenly refuse to speak to him. Zack was never one to turn away from a problem; instead he almost seemed too eager to fix anything that seemed wrong.

Perhaps something had happened to him? No, that was unlikely. There was no way a SOLDIER could go missing without someone realizing. Someone would have seen him leave the building and would have noticed if he failed to return. Perhaps he simply wanted to be alone... Though, in the short time Sephiroth knew Zack, the young man loved being in the presence of others. It was likely that Zack simply did not desire to be Sephiroth's company... which left Sephiroth right back at square one: _why_ would Zack be avoiding him?

The lack of an answer to this problem is what distressed him most. Is Zack desired space, he only needed to say so and Sephiroth would gladly give him that. He understood the need to be away from someone after a while. But if he'd done something to upset his lover, he wanted to make amends... But he would not know anything until Zack enlightened him; the reason he'd left was something only he would truly know.

So almost as quickly as the thoughts came, his mind conceded, and the waiting game continued.

0o0

Sephiroth had completely given up trying to do his office work by the time he'd heard anything about Zack. He did not deal with uncertainty very well, and anything that he could not find an answer for ate away at him and tormented him until he could find an explanation. All he could do was dwell and stress and worry three things that never produced good results for him.

Learning that Zack had been sent out on a weeklong mission gave him some sense of clarity. Clearly, Zack was just fine, physically speaking, and there was little doubt in Sephiroth's mind that he'd come back from said mission unscathed. But the comfort in that fact was short lived. It didn't fix anything between them, and while it meant that he could potentially have the chance to make things right, there was no guarantee.

Once again, he was back at square one.

For a while, as the thoughts he let run rampant began to wear on him, he wondered if he were possibly taking things too far, jumping to conclusions much too quickly. Every thought in his mind eventually cycled back to one consuming fear: that Zack had left him. Loss wasn't something he'd dealt with often, since he was rarely ever actually _given_ anything. But when he was forced to experience it, loss was not something he could endure easily.

Loosing Genesis and Angeal still haunted him and still pained him, and had it not been for having Zack, he was sure Angeal's death would have left him shattered. The two former Firsts were the first ones in a long time that he'd allowed himself to be close to... to an extent. He'd held them dear to his heart, even if they did not see it themselves. It had honestly broken his heart to lose them, and the mere thought of losing Zack hurt just as much.

But, there was nothing that seemed to indicate with certainty that Zack wanted to end their relationship. There was nothing that proved to him without doubt that thing were ending between them. It was honestly irrational to think so, and it was very unlike him to jump to such steep conclusions when he had little proof to justify himself. There was no real reason for him to be so concerned...

So why was his chest tightening? Why did that horrible feeling of heartbreak and loss seem to be creeping up on him? Why was he sitting in his room, in the dark trying to stave off the dread and sadness?

0o0

He'd honestly lost track of the days...

However long had passed, he'd spent it in a train of thought that had more use in the train graveyard. His mind whirled and that uncomfortable feeling seemed to have found permanent refuge in his gut.

Sephiroth went about his routines like a machine, no thought put into his actions. He barely ate a thing, the thought of food making his stomach turn in his increasing stress. Work required too much thought and focus that he could not conjure up despite his best efforts, and he ended up frustrated with a headache whenever he made the attempt.

More often than not, he kept in his bedroom, watching time creep by on the clock next to his bed. Occasionally, he'd get up and wander into the kitchen for something to drink—even if he couldn't eat, he would at least keep himself hydrated—only to wander back into the bedroom. The one part of his normally strict routine he stuck to was washing. He took an odd comfort in the heated water as it fell down his body, the warmth seeping through his skin. He also took comfort in tending to his hair, the task keeping him occupied for a few precious minutes, taking his mind off of the worry and the odd pain that had begun to make itself known...

Sephiroth had also adopted an odd habit of keeping his phone close, wherever he went, hoping perhaps to finally get a call or mail from his (ex?)lover. They'd been separated due to missions before, and did keep in some sort of contact... manly because Zack insisted on making sure Sephiroth wasn't running himself ragged, as he was prone to doing. His phone had rang many times... and all of those times it wasn't Zack, so he refused to answer. He was pretty sure he'd rejected a call from Hojo, informing him of his next appointment. No doubt he was in pretty deep, then, but he honestly couldn't bring himself to care... at all.

At one point, he'd even gotten a call from President Shinra's secretary. He ignored that one too... not the best decision, but once again, he couldn't bring himself to care. His mind was in disarray and too full of too many thoughts, fears, and concerns. He had no desire to give himself anything else to worry about...

...Gods he was a mess...

0o0

The hour was ungodly by the time he could head back to the barracks, and he'd almost considered just heading to his own apartment and waiting till morning... but he'd begun to miss waking up next to a big sleeping lump next to him on a huge bed made from the bosom of the Goddess. He just hoped said lump would be willing to wait till morning before he wanted to talk... and they _needed_ to talk, but he was tired and just wanted to sleep.

He was caught by a funny sense of déjà vu as he stood there at Sephiroth's door, his fist raised to knock. He resisted the urge to chuckle as he remembered all the times he'd been so afraid to even knock as he lowered his fist and quietly entered. He'd been eager to get to his lovers apartment to talk to him; no doubt Sephiroth had been wondering where he'd gone. However, he'd been further delayed when he had to head to the briefing room to report his return.

Shutting the door quietly behind himself, Zack crept to his lover's bedroom, his enhanced eyes easily able to catch sight of the silver-haired man all but curled up under this comforter. That sent a strange jolt of worry through him; Sephiroth had a distinct way of communicating his feelings, and his body language was most obvious once someone understood it. He didn't sleep that way unless he had fallen asleep while in some sort of distress. Had he been to the labs that day?

Of course, he'd found Sephiroth sleeping that way when he returned at night after they'd had a fight—and his heart clenched. Ever since their last fight, Zack had not said a word to him... He knew of his lovers tendency to brood and ruminate on things to the point of causing himself a great deal of unneeded stress. Zack could only imagine how _crazy_ Sephiroth must have driven himself, wondering where he'd gone and why he wouldn't talk.

Perhaps he shouldn't have left those texts unanswered...

Slowly, he come to the bed and lowered himself down next to the bigger man. He took the opportunity to look at Sephiroth's face, finding it partially obscured by silky bangs, the rest pressed into his pillow. It would have looked adorable had Zack not noticed the way his brow furrowed.

His own brow furrowed in concern and he reached over to gently brush away the silver hair. Sephiroth stirred at the touch, his eyes opening. He watched those eyes stare tiredly at him, before blinking and gaining focus, and he almost wanted to laugh at the way they widened.

"Hey, you," he said softly, letting his palm rest on the side of that gorgeous face.

There was a moment where Sephiroth said nothing, blinking as if he could not believe what he was seeing.

"...Zack?"

Zack let his lips turn up in a soft, comforting smile.

"Of course, silly. Who else looks this handsome?"

If Sephiroth found that funny, he didn't show it; he just stared, causing a sigh to leave Zack's lips. He scooted closer, wrapping his arm around his lover's waist, pulling himself against him. His head fell forward to rest against the other's collar bone, and he released another sigh, one of contentment.

Sephiroth remained still for a few moments, and Zack felt that worry settle in him again until a strong arm tentatively settled across his side. For a moment, they just lay there, both enjoy the other's touch, lying in comfortable silence.

"Zack, I'm—" He looked up to Sephiroth when he spoke, those eyes staring back down at him. "I'm sorry."

Zack felt another clench in his chest as he reached back up to touch the other's face. Sephiroth blamed himself for his going away. He thought he'd done something... then again, he knew Sephiroth was quite used to being blamed for a great deal of things, and he had a terrible habit of blaming himself for almost anything.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Seph," he whispered.

"But—"

He pressed a finger to Sephiroth's lips.

"It's all right, Seph. I understand."

He pulled his hand away an immediately pressed their lips together before Sephiroth could say another word. He felt the silver-haired first pull their bodies flush together, and the kiss deepened. The pleasurable jolt was a more than welcomed sensation and he moaned, shuddering when Sephiroth let out a low rumbling noise.

The kiss lasted just a few more moments before they pulled apart, Zack pressing another soft kiss to the soft skin over the other's jaw.

"We'll talk in the morning," Zack said against his skin. "I... needed time to think. Hadn't expected that mission though, or I would have come back to you sooner. There's so much bothering you, and so much I don't understand... We need to talk about those things."

He could feel Sephiroth swallow nervously.

"We have to be able to talk, Seph. I want to know why you get upset, what bothers you... so I can take those problems away.

"...Very well."

Zack hadn't exactly expected Sephiroth to agree so easily, but he was glad for it nonetheless.

"Good. Tomorrow morning?"

A silent nod.

"Good." He pressed another kiss to Sephiroth's lips. "Now let's go to sleep. I'm tired as _fuck_."

The chuckle Sephiroth gave made his heart swell, and he nuzzled his neck happily. It wasn't long before they both fell into a deep contented sleep, Sephiroth holding Zack in a tight embrace.

-end-

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><p>I'm a sucker for happy endings...<p> 


	2. Feeling

So... couldn't get myself to work on any of my other projects... so I looked for a random emotion generator and just... wrote some stuff.

I'm hoping I can get myself into my zone so that I may work on my other fics... and this was a way of making that attempt. You get a cookie if you recognize the "bundle of grey fur"...

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><p>How do you feel...?<p>

**Engrossed.**

The first time Zack ever saw Sephiroth when he was engrossed in something, it had been one of the cutest things he'd ever seen.

Zack loved watching Sephiroth when he was in this... hyper focus. His eyes would widen and glow with so much interest. The way he would sometimes lean closer to whatever it was that had his attention, and the way his lips would part just ever so slightly made him look like the Midgar children that were so dazzled by him. Admittedly though, Zack's favorite part of seeing him this way... It was _so_ funny to startle him and see him nearly jump off the couch.

0o0

**Frustrated**

Zack noticed that a lot of things frustrated Sephiroth. The ridiculous office work, meetings with the executives, incompetent employees, even Zack himself tended to be major causes for frustration, and sadly he had to deal with most if not all of these on a daily basis. Sephiroth frustrated never went well for anyone. His eyes seemed to perpetually glare at everyone and everything, he refuse to speak under _any_ circumstances, and he just... generally looked much more intimidating.

What bothered Zack the most about it though, was not the frustration itself, but rather that Sephiroth never vented the way most people would. He'd just keep it in and let the tension build and build. Zack just worried constantly over what might happen should the First finally snap.

0o0

**Crushed**

The first time Zack ever saw Sephiroth just after one of his visits to the labs, it had been one of the saddest sights. He was amazed to venture into Sephiroth's room—the lights off, the mako having made him highly sensitive to sensory stimulus—and see just how small the man could look as he _hid_ under the comforter in his bed.

Upon coming closer, sitting next to him and peering at his face, Zack felt his heart clench. His eyes had been so dull, and he looked so beaten, so broken, so _tired_... And the only thing Zack could do was sit there, silent, gently stroking his arm in a comforting gesture as his body recovered.

0o0

**Grumpy**

Sephiroth in the morning had to be the cutest, funniest, and sometimes the most agitating thing on the planet. Some days, if Sephiroth had no duties to attend to, he'd blatantly refuse to leave the warmth of his bed. Other mornings, Zack could only get him up with the promise of coffee, and even then, he would not even sit up until a steaming cup was brought in and set on the bedside table.

Still, eventually Sephiroth would have no choice but to leave the bed... but that didn't stop him from grumbling tiredly to himself for the next two hours...

0o0

**Heartbroken**

To see Sephiroth convey any emotion in Zack's eyes was... amazing. He'd gone so long viewing Sephroth the same way as the masses, seeing him as the vast, powerful, untouchable, invincible _god_, that seeing him smile, seeing the sadness in his eyes, seeing him pout, seeing him blush in embarrassment always made a slight happy feeling flutter through his heart.

However, upon walking into his lover's apartment and seeing him kneeling next to the cage on the cage on the, seeing the little bundle of grey fur in his arms that was just _too_ still... seeing the Sephiroth look up at him, eyes red, face stained with tear tracks, Zack felt nothing more than turning of his stomach. To see so much pain in his eyes, to see the agony written upon his face... it made Zack's heart break.

0o0

**Affectionate**

It took a while for Sephiroth to become comfortable in their relationship, and Zack was nothing but patient. He dealt with the way the man would shy away from his touch at first because eventually, he'd relax and allow Zack to touch, caress, and kiss him as much as he'd like. He dealt with Sephiroth's reluctance to reciprocate such displays, because he understood how out of place the First felt. He even dealt with Sephiroth's hesitance at saying "I love you."

But his patience was finally rewarded, and the man that once shied from his touch embraced it, and even touched back. He reveled in powerful arms that would hold him close while fingers stroked his skin, sighed in contentment at the feeling of soft lips brushing tentative kisses to his neck, his lips, and his jaw, and the first time Sephiroth finally said "I love you" made Zack feel as if his heart would burst.

0o0

**Helpless**

There were few times in Zack's life where he felt completely helpless, and it was a feeling he always hoped to never feel again. He loathed being powerless, hated having no way to help someone who needed it. This night was no different as he knelt on the cold floor of the bathroom while his eyes blurred with tears of anger, frustration, and utter fear.

He held Sephiroth's body close, powerless to do anything but hold him steady as he thrashed and convulsed where he'd collapsed. He could do nothing to stop it. He couldn't take away the mako that caused the horrible reaction, he couldn't stop the experiments... all he could do was watch helplessly and hope that the episode ended soon.

0o0

**Calm**

There was something oddly serene about seeing Sephiroth calm... and no, not the "calm" that the general public saw but when his body relaxed and his eyes were no longer sharp and alert, when he would gladly allow Zack to press close and disregard the large personal space bubble he kept around himself during the day.

Zack loved the way his eyes would narrow just slightly, almost the way a cat's would in contentment, the way he'd even press into the occasional soft touches. Zack especially loved seeing him doze. It was extremely rare for Sephiroth to be in such a state of calm where Zack could see his face free of his characteristic frown and the almost ever present furrows in his brow.

Little things like that were what Zack cherished most.

End

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><p>Reviews are welcomed and very much desired. Later peeps.<p> 


	3. Overwhelmed

Okay, so I was recently invited into a fanfiction group on Facebook by the awesome **JenesisX**, and aside from being full of awesome fanfic authors, they have some cool activities for each day of the week. Sunday is a one-hour challenge with a random word given as a prompt. This week's word was Overwhelmed.

While I know it took me over an hour to complete, it was my first challenge, and my focus hasn't been all that good lately, but I once I started, I wanted to finish regardless of how long it took. So here it is. Be warned, you may be seeing more of these from me in the future.

As always, read and review. I want to know what everyone thinks.

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><p>"Tell me you didn't bring that shit from the office..."<p>

Sephiroth stood in the threshold of his door and blinked in bemusement at the tone of Zack's voice. Glancing into the living room, he saw his lover sitting on the couch, arms crossed over his chest, a slightly disdainful look on his face.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

He watched his lover scoff and jab a finger in his direction.

"_That_," Zack repeated. "That came from your office didn't it?"

Sephiroth glanced down at the seemingly innocent stack of papers in his hands no less confused. What about a few documents would be cause for agitation?

"Well, yes, Zack—"

"Why?"

His gaze left the papers and went back to the younger First. "What do you mean?"

Zack rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I _mean_, why did you bring documents from your office? That's _work_."

"I am aware of that, Zack," he said with a tilt of his head.

Why would Zack feel the need to point out the obvious? Yes it was work. He always made a habit out of bringing some of his office work back to his apartment with him. Whatever he could not finish when curfew started, he brought back with him to finish before the next day. It wouldn't do for him to fall behind...

Zack turned and flopped across the arm of the couch, looking at him with disbelief.

"You're _home_, Seph," he said. "Work time is over. You're supposed to come home and relax after working hard, not work hard all day and then come home and _keep working_."

"But... I bring my remaining work back with me all of the time. Curfew prevents me from finishing all of my work within my office, so I bring what remains home to finish before the next day."

The look that Zack continued to give him was unsettling. Was it really so abnormal that he wanted to keep from falling behind? He always found what he did to be very beneficial. If he remained on schedule, it made things so much easier.

He moved away from the front door and into the living room, placing the stack on his coffee table. He ignored the way Zack glowered at it as if it were some sort of vermin and sat down on the couch as he always did, ready to continue as if he'd never had to leave the office. His fingers just barely brushed the first document in the stack before a slightly smaller, slightly darker toned hand was slapped down over it. It took everything he had not to flinch before he looked up the connecting arm and finally into a pair of stern blue eyes.

"There's no way you're looking at any of that garbage tonight. Not while I'm here," Zack said.

"Zack, the sooner I complete it, the sooner I can devote my time to you."

Zack shook his head at that. "That isn't the point. It's fine if you want to deal with that stuff in your office; that's your work space. This is home, not your workspace, so there's no reason for you to be working anymore tonight."

"Zack, I do not wish to fall behind..."

There was another scoff.

"I've seen the crap they shovel on you. For every one mission report that is your actual responsibility to look over, there's ten times more crap that someone else didn't feel like doing, so they decided to dump it on you."

"How it became my responsibility does not matter—"

"It _isn't_ your responsibility!" Zack growled. "Doing someone's work just because they don't want to do it is not your job."

Sephiroth sighed. He was finding it a bit hard to keep his agitation down. All he wanted to do was finish the work so he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. While a part of him wanted to agree with Zack, he couldn't let himself fall behind, no matter how trivial the work was. There wasn't even that much to do! Why couldn't Zack just let him work one more hour and be done with it?

"Zack, there isn't even that much t—"

"Don't even try that with me, Seph," Zack interrupted. "There may not be 'that much' here, but I've seen how much you have to do during the day."

"Zack, please, just allow me one hour's time and I'll have this finished—"

"_No._"

Sephiroth couldn't hold back the exasperated growl that left him, and he glared at his lover. Zack just stared back evenly for a moment before his expression softened. He felt the hand that was atop his own gently move up his arm to rub his shoulder.

"Seph, I don't think you even notice how stressed all this work is making you."

Sephiroth's expression changed back to one of confusion. Of course he noticed the stress his work caused, but it wasn't as if he were going to let a bit of stress keep him from seeing to his duties. He would never be able to even fight if he allowed such a thing. Zack seemed to be able to tell exactly what he was thinking and sighed.

"You really need to let yourself relax," he said softly. "You're way too tense, and don't think I haven't seen the way your hands have been shaking lately."

Damn. No matter how well he could keep stress from showing on his face and out of his body language, the subtle trembling of his hands was always a dead giveaway. He'd tried many times to keep his hands steady when his stress levels rose, but he never succeeded, so he did his best to just hide the trembling as best he could... but it seemed Zack had caught on.

He was too caught up in his thoughts to really notice the way Zack wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. The moment his body rested against Zack's however, was when the tension he wasn't aware of decided to ease, and it was as if his body went limp. He felt the way Zack's chest vibrated as his chuckled quietly, a hand rubbing along his back.

"Yeah, there's no way I'm letting you touch those papers," Zack said. "You really need to let yourself relax every once in a while... you've looked close to snapping all week."

Sephiroth said nothing. Zack was perceptive, and if he'd come to notice his stress, there was no way Sephiroth could deny it. Admittedly, he had been stressed for quite a few days, but he'd kept it from showing so much that he just... failed to notice the constant tension that failed to go away. He was so used to it, that he didn't even notice the way it overwhelmed even his own enhanced body. He'd just go through his routine, working hard without complaint, return home only to continue working before he went to bed too tense to actually sleep. Then he'd wake in the morning, barely rested, and continue his routine again.

Zack's soothing touch seemed to remind his body just how weary it was, and he had to consciously hold back a yawn.

"I think we should sleep in tomorrow," Zack said.

Sephiroth instinctively went to protest... but he couldn't bring himself to actually say a word. The younger First only chuckled at his silence.

"Yeah we'll sleep in tomorrow... maybe have breakfast at noon... then just head right back to bed."

"I would like to get something done during the day, Zack..."

"Well, I'll tell you one thing you won't be doing and that's office work. We can either go out into the city or stay in here... but you are _not_ goig anywhere near that office until you've had some time to relax."

Sephiroth just sighed in resignation. Zack had made up his mind, and there was no way he was going to be swayed. But if he were honest with himself, Sephiroth wasn't really up to protesting... if anything, he looked forward to sleeping in.


	4. Torment

**Alright. Got another word prompt... one that I actually had time and motivation to do. Plus, this finally gives me something to write, while I wait for chapter nine to be looked at. I should probably just start making myself do these weekly prompts since I find I feel very accomplished upon finishing them. **

**But anyway... let's get to it.**

**Warning: Slash. You'll come to not be surprised about to see this from me...**

**As always. R&R I'm eager to hear what you all think~  
><strong>

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><p>Torment<p>

Zack never failed to find something new that set Sephiroth apart from others.

Aside from his exotic, seemingly otherworldly appearance, imposing height, and unmatched strength and agility, he possessed an intellect that could put most so-called geniuses to shame and a capacity for learning that allowed him to grasp most subjects he'd never been schooled in. He possessed an amazing talent for art, Zack discovered one day when he found a hidden book filled with amazing pencil drawings, and he later learned that at one time, Sephiroth had taken up painting and would sneak to an instrument shop in the city to play an old grand piano the shop could never seem to sell.

Despite his power, knowledge, and position, Sephiroth's only arrogance came forth in battle. He was surprisingly unsure of himself for a man that knew and had accomplished so much, shy, and clueless about basic human interaction. The man was also seemingly loyal to a fault, his overwhelming sense of duty going so far as to keep him working well after most would call it a day. Zack was fairly sure if a normal person worked the way his lover did, they would have literally worked themselves to death.

But one thing Zack discovered, something that would cause his heart to often ache, was that Sephiroth never seemed to experience a true moment of peace.

Even with the emotion schooled from his face, there was almost always the slightest furrow of his brow. His body, though it moved so gracefully, was often tensed, muscles painfully knotted. Sometimes, Zack could even detect the slightest edge to Sephiroth's voice when he spoke.

At first, none of this bothered Zack. He was sure that once the two of them were more comfortable with each other he could find ways to put his lover at ease, and it seemed that such efforts paid off after a time... until Zack began looking deeper.

When Sephiroth would smile at him—that tentative, gentle upturn of his lips that made Zack's heart flutter—Zack could still see pain, fear, and uncertainty behind glowing cyan eyes. When they would lie together, warm in each other's arms, Zack would run his hands along soft, pale skin and feel the tensed muscle underneath.

Sleep wasn't even a peaceful escape for the man. He would mutter wordlessly, tremble, toss, and turn only to jerk awake with a fearful sound. Zack would always pretend to have been awakened by the sound, pretend he had not seen his lover in the midst of whatever nightmare seemed to plague him. He would ask if Sephiroth wanted to talk about it, but his lover always refused, saying it was nothing of concern.

It became increasingly disconcerting the more he observed.

There was still fear whenever they were intimate. Sephiroth would still flinch just the slightest at his touch, and a look of fear would pass over his face with every advance Zack made.

He would fall into disturbing lapses of silence, face going blank. But Zack came to notice that his eyes were ever alert... just not alert to anything Zack could perceive. It would be as if something only Sephiroth could see was grabbing his attention something with such an influence that it could make him stop everything and channel ever last bit of focus on... whatever that _something_ was... Sometimes, he would even tilt his head just the slightest, as if there were a voice he could barely detect fighting for his attention.

It was even worse after a visit to the labs, the mako likely having some sort of effect on whatever it was in Sephiroth's mind.

He'd walked into his lovers apartment to hear him _conversing_ with someone, only to find him in the bedroom, that blank look upon his face, eyes that shined with mako staring far off but clearly focused as if he were looking at someone. Zack once even grew bold and stood right in front of him, and watched as Sephiroth didn't even pause, staring through him. But this gave Zack the chance to see confusion written on his lovers face, as if the voice spoke a different language, or didn't speak a language at all and he were trying to make sense of it.

Sephiroth would come out of such trances with intense migraines, and the look of pain and bemusement would keep Zack from ever asking about what happened. He would just fetch a glass of water and couple of those pain killers that seemed designed just for Sephiroth's enhanced system, and then sit next to him while he gathered himself.

The nightmares seemed to be much worse on such nights as well, and Zack would wonder if the two were connected somehow.

To witness it all was painful, but what hurt the most was that it was constant. Sephiroth refused to divulge whatever it was that bothered him, what always kept him tensed and confused, what made him continue to shy from his touch, what tormented him so that he could never have even a moments peace.

He was sure that there was no one thing to blame, but if he could just remove one of them and it allow for even a rare moment where there was no tension, no fear, no confusion, it would be worth it. So he continued to ask, and put forth every effort he could to show his sincerity.

"You can talk to me, Seph," he would say. "I love you, and you know I'd never judge or think less of you."

Some days, Sephiroth wouldn't even look at him. Other days he would look into his eyes... and he would almost say something, only to stop himself. And he would give Zack that smile—that damned beautiful smile that could make Zack's heart flutter in his chest only moments before it shattered. He could see the pain, the fear, the confusion, and desperation that swirled in a void of brilliant cyan and mako green.

"I know, Zack... but it's nothing. I am fine," Sephiroth would say... and it would end there.


End file.
